SUICIDE

I don’t even like writing that word, probably shouldn’t even write my thoughts on this subject. Because someone will think well if he’s writing about it he must be thinking about it. Well, whoever would think that is correct on both accounts. Let me explain, before anyone goes and calls CHARTER HOSPITAL on me. Ask yourself this. What if you had lost everything except your family and friends everything you had spent most of your adult life building up. Yea, the thought has crossed my mind. Well, I may be brain injured at least twice by most standards, probably worse than that MEDICALLY speaking, but, who'’ talking any way? I don’t hear any voices . Do you? Da. I’VE gotta write this, or it’ll never get written. Unless there’s another DENTIST out there who lost his/hers practice due to a CATASTROPHIC TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY, thereby causing him/her to need to sell their practice for next to nothing, and take up writing because it’s the only thing they can still do sort of halfass not unlike myself. And while you’re asking yourself a question, hopefully, not out loud. Imagine that your drivers license expired while you were sleeping for just about three to six weeks, and when you woke up nobody would let you drive, and your cars had been sold, and you just couldn’t drive. You’d be pretty angry at things. Wouldn’t you? Well, this is in a nutshell what has happened to me. However, I won’t get mad because by doing that, I’D be admitting that this TBI has beaten me. And I didn’t let my first TBI beat me. Mostly because, I didn’t even know I had one. Now, that I know about them and mostly what one is, I can see the signs I had before. No, it didn’t prevent me from finishing high school, and going on in college to earn first a bachelors degree, then a doctorate degree in DENTISTRY, then a certificate in general practice DENTISTRY. However, knowing that I have a TBI does not make it any easier to overcome it. I can’t just pick myself back up and go on with my practice, NOW, it’s been too long that I haven’t been able to perform DENTAL techniques. I don’t like saying PRACTICE DENTISTRY because that sounds like one hasn’t perfected it yet. Well most DENTISTS will try to tell you they’ve got it down pat. However, why do they have to take continuing education courses, all the time, and they HAVE to take these courses IF they want to keep their licenses. Something, I don’t have to worry about anymore. Because in this wonderful state, if you, for any reason go to sleep for more than twenty four hours. You automatically have all state issued licenses revoked, or rendered essentially null and void. However, I’M not going to worry about that. Because, now that I’VE been retired, essentially, for about seven years, I’M beginning to like this. Don’t think I’LL EVER go back to the headaches of malpractice insurance, sending people, some good, some not so good to collections, stuff like that. I say I’M glad I don’t have those kinds of headaches anymore, but, I’M definitely not a happy camper. I love camping too. I’LL just have to resign myself to depending on other’s to drive me wherever it is that I want to go. The problem with that is that others don’t always want to go where I’D like. And trying to get anybody else to go WHEN I want to go is like getting somebody to let me pull one of their teeth.