THE WEB BUGS CONQUER THE EARTH

Yeah, right! That's just a title! They're not THAT …let's see fastidious is not the word I'M looking for, but, something which means to multiply or reproduce readily. Well, any ways, the bugs ARE very whatever that word is, but, not THAT whatever that word is. However, they liked SGT. MILKO'S place and his CALIFRAG so well, that they were able to rapidly reproduce, and slowly by getting people to fall in love with them, spread across first the SACRAMENTO VALLEY then NORTHERN CALIFORNIA, then SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, and so on. And so forth until soon they had taken over the world. They became very happy with this type of existence. They grew very accustomed to just sitting in peoples living rooms on their coffee tables or in their jewelry boxes. After all they had grown accustomed to just sitting around in MILKO'S DOGHOUSE workshop. They couldn't reproduce very well in the barely livable conditions on earth as it was. However, once people realized they could, and would reproduce in a CALIFRAG or in the conditions of high temperature the CALIFRAG'S simulated, the WEB BUGS began reproducing like the planet that they came from, like HELL in other words. Some were given to GREG LORY and also some were given to CRYSTAL LEWIS, they loved her sweet voice. Hence they spread across SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, and some were given to DR. JACOBS in TULSA, OK. Hence they spread across the Midwest; next they were given to MICHAEL P. GAUDIO, D.M.D. back in CONNECTICUT so they spread to the EAST COAST. And some to NICHOLAS MAKRIDES, D.M.D. in LUBBOCK TEXAS. And you know since happiness is seeing LUBBOCK in your rear view mirror, the bugs didn't stay there to long because NICK gave some to MIKE CHALUPNIK and everyone knows he likes to drive all over the place. So, he soon gave some to GLENDA PAYAS whom although practiced DENTISTRY in TULSA, OK, still kept a house in Las Vegas, NM. Here, MILKO finally caught up with the bugs on a vacation/family reunion he went on to TAOS, NM. Here he made a side trip to Las Vegas, NM. And he was able to catch GLENDA and BRAD while they were taking a little spring break away from the TULSA madness at their second home or at GLENDA'S sister's place. So MILKO was temporarily able to stem the spread of the bugs across the SOUTHWEST, but, only temporarily. Because, as soon as some of bugs got into the hands of the ORU DENTAL SCHOOL GRAD'S hands, they were soon taken around the world and some even found their way into the hands of another DR. MILKO in the UKRAINE or somewhere. However, that's a very long story, which I have yet to make up. But, keep reading, as I will yet, some day write it!

Ok, today's the day. It seems these bugs had made their way into the hands of "CLOROX," JERRY CLORE, an ORU DENTAL school grad also. He took some to a little country in AFRICA someplace called SIERRA LEONE. He took them there after the people there had had a war of some kind, probably a war for independence. And it was a good thing he waited until things died down a bit or he maybe would've died down a bit also. As it was everybody wanted some of the web bugs, and the bugs almost caused a major war to break out. However, MILKO couldn't let that happen. So, he decided to politely, as politely as he knew how, ask the leader of SIERRA LEONE for some of the bugs back. Not realizing they had been promised to GENERAL M'BUTU as a gift. So, when he said GI' ME THOSE F~!ING bugs back the general said but CLOROX here promised them to me. And so MILKO says well, they weren't his to promise in the first place. So, the general says, well what if he was to promise them to me as a second place award for something? MILKO couldn't argue with this kind of logic, remember he started NIWTGISE, NATIONAL IMBECILES WANTING TO GO INTO SPACE EXPLORATION, remember? That silly organization made up of really international imbeciles, because well, you know stupidity knows no borders. So, anyhow, MILKO ends up giving GENERAL M'BOTO, oh that's right not left this time, it was GENERAL M'BUTU. I'M sorry all those AFRICAN names sound alike to me but then again I'VE never been there or something like that.

So, you're probably wondering how they got into the hands of another, REAL DOCTOR MILKO, MILKO SAKHAROV, I believe. Well, let's see how can I get myself out of this jam. Well, what if I was to tell you it was a jelly? Then, I wouldn't have to tell you how I got out of that jam. Get it, it's not a jam it's a jelly. Get it? Yuck, yuck, Yuck…. UNHH…. So anyhow, the way DR. MILKO SAKHAROV got some of the web bugs is a very long story and I'M gonna tell it to ya for two reasons. 1. It will take up a lot of room. Hence, making it so someday this'll be long enough for a book. And 2. Because it's what happened, really. Do I look like the kinda guy who would lie to you? Da.

Okie dokie Smokey, I'M now going to make up how these silly web bugs got into the hands of DR. MILKO SAKHAROV.

It seems some of the O R U grads from the former DENTAL school, and from the MEDICAL school went on a HEALING TEAM trip to the country of the UKRAINE or maybe it was SERBIA or somewhere over there. Somewhere where DR. BOB thought was an a reached peoples" group. He calls any area where he thinks DENTAL and MEDICAL HEALING TEAMS need to go to, UNREACHED PEOPLE groups. No, actually these are areas of the world, where for some reason or another haven't heard or read the WORD of GOD. Either this could be because of lack of technology or they simply haven't had the desire. Hopefully, the former is the real reason. Whatever the reason there obviously, hasn't been an adequate education system to allow these people groups the ability to study GOD'S WORD. I'M sure many of these areas have had the desire to learn about this WESTERN GOD. Because this is made obvious at how thankful individuals in these groups are after a HEALING TEAM has been there. For not only do these teams provide much needed MEDICAL and DENTAL assistance to these people, but, they also provide some preaching of the good news. And these people always express how grateful they are for this aspect of the HEALING TEAM'S visit. Well, it seems one of the guys on the healing team, I think it was TIM HUGHES or maybe JEFF HAW or it was probably GREG GELDHARDT, found out when they went to an ORPANAGE over there that one of the OBGYN DOC'S from that country. Who was seeing all the little orphan girls already. His name was DR. MILKO SAKHAROV. And GREG GELDHARDT who had been DR. MILKO'S roommate at ORU DENTAL SCHOOL before DR. MILKO married BA BA BA…….AN reralized his name was the same as the MILKO he knew. So, he gave the good DOCTOR one or two web bugs. Probably two because one had to keep them mated. Because, the web bugs mated for life unlike many HUMANS who only mated until one got tired of the other. Then, was their mate just cast side like one might cast a lure for a LARGE MOUTH BASS. MILKO, learned well from the web bugs, to keep his mate for life though. He did this by using a new type of device invented by the UNIVERSITY OF ARKANSAS the SPEECH PATHOLOGY department in conjunction with their ANIMAL HUSBANDRY DEPARTMENT. This device was such a device made so HUMANS could communicate with ANIMALS of all kinds. MILKO thought well, if the device can help DOGS go to DOGGY PSYCHIATRISTS, then it ought to be able to help MILKO communicate with his web bugs. By doing this he learned the best way to stay mated for life with one single mate was to be a web bug. No, I bet you thought I was going to write the real answer many are desperately needing, but, I'M sorry to disappoint you I'M not. I don't know that answer. Heck if I did, I'D be a millionaire, and I don't know if I'D share it. What have you done for ME lately, if ever? But the web bugs told MILKO this, that one of the mates must be willing, at all times, to totally sacrifice themselves for the other mate. Not just some of the time, but, at all times. Mating for life is not something HUMANS can do though. Because, by their nature, humans are selfish individuals. Hence, it's incomprehensible for them to mate for life. Only a few have figured this out so far. And do those few, get any reward for this, being able to mate for life? No only the reward of, if you want to call that a reward, being able to have the same help-mate one said one would stay with when one took an oath to GOD, when one got married for your whole life.

So, that in a nutshell is what the WEB BUGS told him. Now, if you want it in anything other than a NUTSHELL, I'M sorry. That's just the way I do things around here. O'course I COULD give it, tell it, to you in a TURTLE SHELL, but that might be too big and bulky for your computer. So, you get it in a NUTSHELL. Ok? Da.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah I had just told you how DR. MILKO SAKHAROV got a hold of some WEB BUGS, that's right maybe left also. If you're wondering why I write RIGHT MAYBE LEFT all the time, it's because I used to be right hand dominant, now I'M left hand dominant. And I'VE realized how everything is RIGHT HAND oriented. You know you never hear anything about GOD'S LEFT hand it's always been said how JESUS sits at GOD'S RIGHT hand. And also, how people always say RIGHT instead of CORRECT. How come, people don't say ISN'T THAT LEFT ABIGAIL or ISN'T THAT LEFT JIM? Because it's just not RIGHT to say that. RIGHT? Get my point? Ok onward, with the story. It seems DR. MILKO SAKHAROV wanted to meet this other DR. MILKO. So, he E-mailed BMF DMD at his home in AUBURN, CA, USA and asked to meet this other DR. MILKO who in reality was a DENTIST working for the CIA. Now, you can't tell anyone this or I'LL have to kill you (NOT.):>)} Just trying to be funny, see the little smiley face?

Hokay dokay, on with the show! DR. MILKO SAKHAROV, could only hang on to these WEB BUGS for so long. The WEB BUGS just had to get back to they're home planet or any planet as long as the conditions were correct for them, You know it wouldn't be comfortable mating in ANTARTICA, if you were used to mating in say GUAM or someplace were it's warmer. Now, would it? Ask yourself that, preferably not out loud. STOP, Ok, enough of this silly out loud stuff. From here on out howzabout if I just assume you'll only be talking to yourself, asking questions, or answering my questions, in your head. In the same way I write. I have to think my questions for you before I write anything. I'M just trying to make my writing seem more like I'M telling you a story. I do this because 1. It's easier to write this way, and 2. I'M a LITERALIST, and I can't remember why else, let's just suffice it to say it's the only way I know of to write. Oh yeah, and because I love to tell stories.